Tag Archives: speaking strategies

R-E-O Improves Your Active Listening Skills

2 Replies

Active listening skills are important to utilize in your everyday life, in the workplace and at home. Passively listening while multi-tasking several things can give the impression that you are not paying attention, and could cause people to avoid you or maybe even resent you.

Recently I met a senior manager at a global financial company who has had the benefit of over 20 years of the best sales and management training.  He knew that we all need a reminder once in a while of the simple communication strategies that work best. He agreed that active listening skills are very valuable and can make the difference between a sale and a loss.  Also, he mentioned that we do not want our colleagues to think that we are not listening, or do not care about their problems. Active listening can really help.  Here is a simple formula to help you – REO.

R – Reflect back or ‘paraphrase’ their main ideas, content, key words and ideas. You need not use the exact same phrase or sentences; rather just serve back the message that you got their main points. The beauty of this is that it immediately gives an opportunity to clear up any miscommunication right at the beginning of the conversation, as opposed to getting halfway through only then to realize you weren’t following the whole picture, and you have to start again from the top.

E – Empathy is a showing of a shared feeling and understanding of the emotional impact of the speaker’s situation. Do not judge, and please hold your own opinion. If you need to illustrate that you understand, briefly mention the basics of your story. This is not the time to take over the conversation. Your job is to listen actively and pay attention to their emotional state and body language. This is why you must be making eye-contact to be a good listener!

O – Open-ended questions can be asked to get more information, background, details that will help you and them discover a solution to the problem. We cannot ask a question that begs a Yes or No answer. We must ask questions that have them talking freely, in their own words. For example we should not ask “Are you going to request a transfer?” but rather ask “What are your options on changing your current situation?”

Also, please remember to be careful with starting your questions with the word ‘Why’. It usually sounds like you are challenging or criticizing the person. For example, “Why are you taking vacation now?” could be changed to “What are the reasons of taking your vacation now, as opposed to next month when things have slowed down here?”

I hope you find R-E-O a useful communication tool. As always feel free to contact me should you have any questions or comments about posts, ebooks, workshops, or personal coaching.

Accent Reduction – Top 10 Tips

Leave a reply

1 – Imitate the desired accent and expressions of the people around you e.g. co-workers, T.V. and film characters, teachers, etc.

2 – Record yourself and check your progress continuously.

3 – Memorize useful North American slang, current idioms and expressions, etc. and integrate it whenever possible.

4 – Buy a pronunciation book. Check for CDs in the back and whether they are British or American English.

5 – Use a mirror to observe your lips, tongue and teeth positions.

6 – Control your volume, and stress key content words to keep listeners focused.

7 – Control your rhythm and pace. It is not a race!

8 – Practice with tongue-twisters, alliteration and poetry.

9 – Keep a list of trouble spots (words, sounds) to practice morning and night in a logbook or diary.

10 – When in doubt of the correct pronunciation, use a good dictionary to check the phonetic instructions of sounds and syllable stress.

Become an Expert Listener

Leave a reply

As a Communication Coach I get asked all the time “How can I improve my communication skills?” by accountants and engineers, by ESL students, by immigrants, by counsellors. I always start with the same response: “Become a great listener!” When they ask me how they can do that, I then start to break it down. I can’t tell you all the secrets to listening just now, but here is some quick advice to help you become a better communicator with friends, family, co-workers, and employees.

When you become an expert listener it means that the other person is doing most of the talking. When you go into a situation where you are meeting someone for the first time go into that encounter with only one thing on your mind – THEM. You must treat that person as though they are the most important person in the world, because to them they are!

To build up rapport and to engage in a conversation ask questions and be intrigued about the other person, not yourself.

So, what do you talk to the other person about?

Well, like I said before, you don’t! You let them do most of the talking and by doing this they will think that you walk on water and will in turn ask about you and that’s when YOU talk!

So how do you engage the other person into talking? To do this it is important to understand what other people like to talk to about.

Here is the TOP 5 in order:

1. Themselves

2. Their own opinions

3. Other people

4. Things

5. You

Accents & Emails

2 Replies

Did you know that a person’s email style is often as culturally-specific as their accent?

Some times we come to think of English as a standardized tool that everyone is using for business, travel, pleasure etc. and we forget that it is a living, evolving stylized language. We obviously can see this (rather “hear this”) in the different regional accents all over the world.

There really is no such thing as “American” English. Does that mean the New York accent or the Boston one? The Californian or Texan? Did you realize that even in Canada, a country with a relatively small population (almost 35 million) that we have regional accents? Some newcomers take a while to pick up on this. For example there’s the broken, choppy French-Canadian accent, the tight and enunciated Toronto-business accent, the typical relaxed and casual small-town accent, the native Canadian or Inuit accent, the East coast accents…etc.

When we write emails our choice of vocabulary comes out as well as our attitude. With friends and family this is fine but in business there needs to be a professional tone and word choice – without going over the top with vocabulary from the stock exchange every time!  🙂

This brings me to my final note. Please be aware that the Americans and Canadians typically write short, direct emails in business, and expect the same from you. Do not be offended! It is actually viewed as being polite not to waste other people’s precious time. But remember that the British typically are still writing as they speak – longer drawn out “indirect” speech, so their emails are longer. Often they too think that the North Americans are being rude or lazy, but it’s just a difference of culture!

Until next time, consider your recipient before pressing the “send” button!