Are there some hidden secrets to confidence that only the confident, charismatic leaders know and refuse to share with the rest of us?\u00a0 I doubt it.\u00a0 If you study the world of confidence, as I do, then I believe you will arrive at similar conclusions as I note below.\u00a0 Here are a few not-well-kept ‘secrets’ about developing and displaying confidence.\u00a0 I have chosen to start with these random 7 secrets:<\/p>\n
1 – Be calm.\u00a0 <\/b>If you want people to listen to you, and follow you, you must show them the way to calmness and security by leading the way yourself.\u00a0 A confident person has no need to yell, order and argue to convince folks. There are more elements to being confident, but for today, these ‘7 secrets’ should get your started in your assessment of yourself and of those around you in leadership positions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Are there some hidden secrets to confidence that only the confident, charismatic leaders know and refuse to share with the rest of us?\u00a0 I doubt it.\u00a0 If you study the world of confidence, as I do, then I believe you will arrive at similar conclusions as I note below.\u00a0 Here are a few not-well-kept ‘secrets’ […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[544,538,533,534],"tags":[549,575,574],"class_list":["post-54","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-body-language","category-confidence","category-interpersonal-communications","category-professional-communications","tag-confidence","tag-trust","tag-truthplane"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.communicationcoach.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.communicationcoach.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.communicationcoach.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.communicationcoach.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.communicationcoach.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=54"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.communicationcoach.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":592,"href":"https:\/\/www.communicationcoach.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54\/revisions\/592"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.communicationcoach.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=54"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.communicationcoach.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=54"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.communicationcoach.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=54"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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\n<\/b>2 – Be direct.\u00a0 <\/b>Say what you got to say.\u00a0 Don’t beat around the bush.\u00a0 You can still say it calmly, and even with friendliness in your voice.\u00a0 Just make sure there is no confusion.\u00a0 Be short, sweet and clear.
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\n<\/b>3 – Have loads of eye contact.\u00a0 <\/b>Look them in the eye when you are actively listening to them.\u00a0 Show respect to gain respect.\u00a0 Also look them in the eye when attempting to convince them of your opinion or your judgement.\u00a0 Looking away is not a good way to instill trust. Make a connection by making eye contact – a lot.\u00a0 Experts say between 70 – 90% in North America.
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\n<\/b>4 – Your body language should be open and friendly, yet also solid.\u00a0 <\/b>We do not want to display threatening, closed or unsure gestures.\u00a0 We want our body language to be open and engaging so we make sure we have no arms, legs, ankles crossed.\u00a0 We use gentle but controlled flowing hands, emanating from the ‘truth plane’\u00a0 – our gut.\u00a0 We gain a solid vibe by using symmetrical gestures, and having balance in our stance or seated position.\u00a0 We do not lean awkwardly to one side.\u00a0 We plant or root our feet to the floor.\u00a0 A solid base is very important.\u00a0 Think of yourself like a palm tree – the base is solid but the top flows with the wind and is flexible, so it does not break in a storm.\u00a0 Be like the palm tree.
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\n<\/b>5 – Speak with a medium volume voice.\u00a0 <\/b>Medium is the rule.\u00a0 Use medium volume, medium speed, and walk at a medium speed as well.\u00a0 Match your voice to your pace if walking and talking. Speaking too slowly makes you sound unsure and even boring.\u00a0 Speaking too fast makes you sound like you are rushing and are not careful or thoughtful.
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\n<\/b>6 – Be assertive, not aggressive.\u00a0 <\/b>Protect yourself and your loved ones, or your team at work.\u00a0 Stand up for your rights and theirs, but do it in a way that does not undermine your own credibility.\u00a0 Being assertive means protecting yourself and self-interests.\u00a0 Being aggressive means bullying to get what you want, regardless of whose best interests it serves.\u00a0 An aggressive person is always trying to change your mind or force you to do something.\u00a0 An assertive person is protective and persuasive, yet does not try to force you to agree or change your mind in one sitting. The agendas are different.\u00a0 The focus of aggressiveness is on the other person, the ‘opponent.’\u00a0 The focus of assertiveness in on yourself, and your circle.
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\n<\/b>7 – Trust yourself.<\/b>\u00a0 Confidence starts with self-trust.\u00a0 You must trust your decisions, and your motives behind your actions.\u00a0 Competence builds confidence, so the more you try, the more you learn, and we all learn mostly through trial and error.\u00a0 Nothing ventured nothing gained.\u00a0 Make a decision and go forward.\u00a0 If you need to revisit it or re-evaluate it later (perhaps based on new data)<\/em> that’s fine.\u00a0 A confident person is not blind in their decision-making.\u00a0 They make the best decision they can, at the time.\u00a0 They are open-minded enough to consider changes, and if necessary, change course and even apologize.\u00a0 There is no shame in being wrong.\u00a0 We all learn from our mistakes.\u00a0 Part of trusting yourself is also forgiving yourself for being human, and occasionally making mistakes!\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n