Monthly Archives: November 2007

Communicating with Your Bank

Sometimes we assume that the bank will help us make the right decision for all our banking and investment needs. After all, is that not their job?

Well yes, but their job is also to make money for the bank. The bank takes our money and invests it to make its own money. Fair enough.

So how do you know whose interest they are serving?

Here’s my advice:

1 – Do your homework. Find out ahead of time (online, brochures, friends etc.) what are the typical fees, types of accounts, investments, mortgages, interest rates etc. Come prepared knowing the fair market value and special deals going on.

2 – Establish a relationship. Do not just see any banker. Find someone you like, or if you have no choice, establish rapport with your assigned account manager. Smile, shake hands, get a card, chit-chat and invest in the relationship. You might be surprised how far a little charisma gets you around fees.

3 – Ask questions. Remember that this is your money. Do not passively let the bank put you into an account that has higher fees for services that you will not be using. Do not get a higher interest rate credit card when there are lower ones available. Be polite at all times, but ask questions. Only pay the fees you have to and find out how to minimize them.

 4 – Talk about the future. You may just be going in there today to set up a simple savings account, but talk about your future mortgage, retirement savings, investments or line of credit. Both you and your manager should understand that you need each other, and can have a productive, profitable future together if you are honest and upfront with each other.

5 – Communicate confidence and success. Dress nice, sit properly, speak clearly and confidently, no matter how much money your bank account has or is lacking. Ultimately you are selling yourself, and we all know that financial situations change frequently over time. Make them trust you and believe in you.

6 – Lastly, don’t wait for a rainy day or a crisis to hit to ask for money. When you have money and a good credit rating, that is the time to get a loan, line of credit or card. Be disciplined with its use, but the fact is it’s much easier to get money when you have it than when you do not.

Are You on a Confidence Tightrope?

Do you know how confident you should act in your presentations?

Robert Herjavec (one of the VCs – Venture Capitalists –  from the TV shows “Dragons’ Den” and “Shark Tank”) was recently asked this question: “What’s the most common fundraising flaw you see in entrepreneurs?”
His answer: “Overconfidence, bordering on arrogance. Or lack of confidence, bordering on insecurity.”

As a Confidence Coach and a believer in the power of confident communications, I know how hard it is to walk this tightrope. You don’t want to fall right? So what should we do? Well the answer for communication is the same answer for the real situation – KEEP YOUR BALANCE.

You must be confident in your presentations. If you are trying to convince others to believe in you or follow you, you must give them a reason and a feeling to do so. That is right, both logical and emotional reasons must be there. You need to be passionate about what you are saying (or selling) and you need to have hard facts and figures to back up your beliefs.

A confident presenter is challenged less than an unsure or meek one, even on Dragon’s Den and Shark Tank. When a confident person handles the first challenging question successfully, smoothly and convincingly, there is less desire to challenge again and again.

To be confident you must believe in what you are saying, have data to back it up and be comfortable talking about it to others. Confidence comes from competence, and vice versa. Make sure you prepare well.

Keeping your balance means that you must be confident to succeed, especially in North America, and you must balance that with logical reasons so that it is not just your opinion.

For example:

“I think you should buy this soft drink machine because I think it is the best value for money and we will get a lot of revenue from it” could be transformed into:

“To get the best value for our money and a three to one return on investment, choose this soft drink machine. 2007 statistics show that there is a growing increase in soft drink machine use when a variety of drinks are offered, and I strongly believe this is the way forward for our company. “

In this example we do not start out with our opinion. We start out with compelling facts and numbers that the logical brain can absorb. Then passion is displayed. It sounds more confident, doesn’t it?

72%? Really?

According to one of my favourite magazines for entrepreneurs, PROFIT (OCT’07), 72% of salespeople are either actively seeking or would be open to a new job if they came across one.
The question is why?

Well, from a communication coaching perspective, I would advise managers out there to keep up the kudos and also the “kaizen” for their high-fliers.

It is not enough to just tell them “good job” and then go and spend your efforts helping other less successful employees. Driven salespeople see themselves as self-employed, and will take care of their own self if you do not provide structured feedback, ways to continuously improve (kaizen), and ‘breathing room’ too. A stagnant feeling is an invitation to talk to a recruiter or headhunter.
So have a proper meeting with the successful ‘Super-Sales-Rep’. Ask them what they think of their performance, their personal and professional goals re: company, and yes, areas to work on to be even more successful. in short – talk to them, listen, and provide good feedback and new goals.  It is rare high fliers are in it solely for the money.

Body Language & Face-Reading Resources

I recently presented an interactive seminar on body and face reading at a Toronto law firm. At the end I gave them some resources, just in case they wanted to learn more about this art/science. So then I thought I should also let you, my faithful readers, get in on this knowledge! For those interested, here is a starting list of some good resources that you may want to check out, if you are interested in improving your ability to read peoples emotions, character, attitudes and beliefs, and current intentions. Have fun!


How to Read a Person like a Book by Gerald I. Nierenberg and Henry Calero

How to Use Body Language by Drs. Sharon and Glenn Livingston

In Your Face by Bill Cordingley

Face Language 2000 by Jon E. and David E. Prescott


Confident Verbal Communications

Our Saturday workshop was a blast! Here is a sample of what was taught to help our participants communicate their confidence. Enjoy.

Even though only 7% of our communication is verbal, which is our word choice, phrases and expressions used etc. we still need to acknowledge the impact of what we say on others.

A confident person knows when he or she is good at something, and trusts themselves at all times. They know that the words we say affect our belief system. Not cocky, not meek, a confident person simply states the truth.

Now you finish these sentences with confidence!

I am…

I will…

I trust that…

I can…

I’m able to…

Yes, that’s correct. I am…

I trust you. You can do it. I know because…

We also sometimes use ‘softeners’ when we want to be more diplomatic, professional, non-aggressive and non-offensive. A confident person never wants to offend anyone, and is not easily offended either. They always take the higher ground. They are expert managers of conflict. They are excellent listeners and have developed their empathy levels. They have no need to assert their strength to put others down. They can defend themselves politely, yet firmly. They do not argue. They discuss.

Some example softeners are below.

Would you mind…?

Could you please…?

Could I ask…?

Is it possible to…?

I’m wondering if…?

How do you feel about…?

I’m curious to know…

Sometimes changing a small phrase in your sentence or question will make all the difference between being a confident communicator or a wishy-washy or even offensive speaker. Remember that the next time someone tries to bully you.

Body Language Resource

Hello everyone,

I have recently been asked if I would let everyone know about a new resource out of the U.K.
It is a website that contains tons of articles on Body Language. You could spend a lot of hours here. The strength of the site is its variety and specific topics. Ironically, the weakness I think is that the articles do not go into great detail, as the topic would suggest. However, for people just starting to study body language or who have been studying for a short time, this is a great resource.
I am happy to recommend it.

The link is:

I hope you like it.

What is the Key to Effective Communication?

What is the key to effective communication?

Confidence is the key to effective communication.

You may have an accent, you may not. You may be Hollywood-attractive, or just average. You may have studied a lot at school or in other courses, or you may be a hands-on type of learner.

None of these things are as influential as the ability to be a great communicator. Now for the cherry on top of the sundae – be a CONFIDENT great communicator.

Confidence builds competence, and competence builds confidence. Understanding what to say and how to say it will increase your self-esteem and ultimately your impact on the people around you at work or elsewhere. You do not want to look or sound meek and unsure, right? And I wouldn’t need to tell you how bad it could be if people thought you were too cocky, right? An appropriate balance must be projected so you can lead, succeed, manage and conquer your fears of having an average communication style.

Here is the good news. You have a last chance to attend the November 10 workshop. And here are the details, in case you or someone you know is interested in communicating with confidence inside and out.

Workshop – Communicate Your Confidence: Inside and Out

3V Communications is proud to be teaming up with The Image Factor to bring you this first time ever unique and exciting workshop Communicate Your Success: Inside and Out. If you have ever wanted to improve your confidence dramatically in one day, this is the workshop for you.

Part 1: 9:30-12:30. Ric leads you on a journey to discover how to build confidence, and how to project it with verbal, vocal and visual communication techniques.

Lunch break from 12:30-1:15.

Part 2: 1:15-4:15. Nadia helps you understand the importance of image, wardrobe, and first impression management. Learn to communicate your personal style and message.

For additional information or to register go to